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Dust On My Hands - Old Reliable

On an uncloudy day, with just a slight breeze

The powers above took my love from me
She drifted away forever to sleep and I'm left here half of the man that I used to be
She said something humble, she said nothing grand
To say something simple where the waves meet the sand
I'll always remember but not understand
How the love of a woman could turn to dust on my hands

Once upon a fine time we had it all made
We had our own style, we had our own grace
I'm left with pieces, and a prayer for to pray
And I've got her picture when the memories fade

So sleep tight my darling by the light of the moon
Hold fast to hope dear, though your hope turned on you
Your father awaits you, youll be seeing him soon
Where the silence rings golden with the call of the loon

Once upon a true time she had it all made
She had flair and favour, she had 'em in spades
Now I'm left with her pieces and a new way to pray
And I've got her picture when the memories fade
And I've got her picture when the memories fade

And I've got her picture when the memories fade

This is a song that comes to me often when my girl drifts through my mind - and brings her to mind and a knot to my throat when I hear it... Old Reliable is a band from Edmonton, AB - this song and the background music on this page (titled Our Way Here) are from The Gradual Moment album.

In Memory of Bambi, my first horse.

I learned to ride on her mother, and when she was 5 months old, and I was turning 8, her mother was sold. Her and I coped with the loss by finding solace in each other, and for the next 13 years, she was all that really mattered. She was the kind of horse I could put a 3 year old on and turn them loose with nothing more than a halter, or I could get on her and she would act like a youngster, dance and prance and jump around, because she knew I enjoyed it. I could jump on Bambi any old time, any old place, with nothing more than a hand in her mane, and do whatever I needed to do, from point A to point b, or loping circles. We barrel raced, chased cattle, trail rode, taught new riders, and shared the joy of 5 foals. Bambi was the horse that would come to me when the rest of the herd was running in the opposite direction. She was my best friend, and this page is dedicated to her.

In her last summer, Bambi saw the birth of her first grandson, Randa Tandu. His picture is inset in hers, and you can see that he resembles her closely. Her daughter, his dam, was not a happy mother, and Bambi shared in the responsibility of raising Tandu, right down to nursing him herself. Tandu has grown into a fine fellow with a great mind.

I started riding Bambi too young, and I was too young to know better. I was small, so I thought it would be okay. I started her as a yearling, though we didn't get very far that year, not much past my first black eye. In her two year old year we really went to town, literally. I rode her on long (multi day) trail rides, and just generally ripped up the neighbourhood. She taught me to ride, at her own expense. By the time she was 10, she suffered from arthritis in her right hip. Lesson learned. I will ride a two year old now, but reluctantly, and lightly. I prefer a three or four year old, and even at three, the work load is light.

In The Key of D:
The love of my life, the life of my love
Thirteen years of good service
I can't believe what's become of
Saying good bye
In this time on this day in this year and I cry
Oh how I cry
The deepest wettest saltiest heart piercing throat wrenching tears

You've taught me so much since seven I met you
I must remember those lessons
Now, as I let you
Go
And for the last time
Holding just a little piece of your spirit
With mine

Thank you for being all that you were
That you are
Over the years, I've come so far
And you've come with me like holding my hand
Lending your blood to all that I planned
And I miss you so much I fall with despair
As I hear the sweet sound of your song on the air

I'll never forget as long as I live
I will always remember all that you've given to me
Your progeny with their bones straight and strong
And I'll think of you often as I carry on
Now I'll call on the Mother to help you
Along

May your body melt back into the Earth that sustained us
May your spirit fly swifter than ever your legs would carry us

The Love of my life the Life of my love
Thirteen years, thirteen years
The Love of my life, the Life of my love
My very best friend till the end.
The End
The End
I can't believe it's the end
The End.

In the spring of 2003, Bambi was bred to a Morgan stallion, along with 3 other mares from our herd. Danza, the dam of Tandu, was the first bred, and the only mare of the 4 who did not contract an equine STI, similar to genital herpes in humans: equine coital exanthema, caused by the equine herpes virus EHV-3. So, with the arthritis challenging her constantly, and the recovery from this infection, her system was certainly comprimised when West Nile Virus struck in September of that year. The onset of the disease was rapid, and Bambi went down hill fast. I will spare you all the gory details, but in short, the first symptoms were observed on Friday evening, being sore in her back end, and her hips felt like bags of gravel. On Saturday morning, she was bright eyed, but having a hard time standing up. By 2 PM Saturday, she was down, and she never got up again. 24 hours [of absolute hell] later, I called it quits. All the signs indicated that she would suffer until she eventually died, so I had her put to rest. Her body was moved to a quiet clearing, next to a sweet smelling hay field, and surrounded by trees, except to the East, so she could kiss the morning sun.

Bambi touched my life like no one before or since. I will never forget her, or the suffering that was her final hour. I still sing her song, and I still see her eyes and hear her calling. Someday, perhaps, we will ride again.

Her Legacy...

Her first born daughter, High Hopes Dancer (Danza), was born in 1995, to a Grulla foundation QH stallion. Danza and I are still riding together today. When she was 2, we showed in fairs in Western Pleasure and Trail classes, as well as halter and showmanship. We did very well. When she was 3 she started getting hot, and became quite a challenge. We found her niche in the barrel arena, but I hurt my back in our first year, so it was short lived. She is very athletic, fast and fiery. She has provided me with 2 beautiful foals, Randa Tandu, her first colt, and Mango Freedom Dancer (Chutney), a sorrel filly.

Randa Tandu (Tandu) was born in 2003, to a black AQHA stallion, Ole Cuda Bar bred. He is now a promising 4 year old gelding. When I get some harness rounded up, Danza and Tandu will be pairing up in preparation for summer wagon trekking.

Mango Freedom Dancer (Chutney) was born in 2004 to a black Morgan stallion. In her 3 year old year she is started lightly under saddle. She is very quiet and not much rattles her so far. She is also in preparation for wagon trekingk, though she will be a saddle horse.

Wonder's Wisdom was born in 1996, to a polish Arabian stallion, William (Willy Wonder One-Ball

).
Wisdom was sold as a yearling.

Majestic Midnight Pride is the foal who was dropped beside the bed that I had made for observing said birth. Early May, 1998, Bambi spent the whole first part of the night "doing the rounds" - eating hay in that corner (of a corral - about 40x40'), then coming and standing by my bed, which was in the next pen over, then going to another corner, thenback to the hay, etc. When she would come by me, she would sniff me and say hi, then carry on. Her water broke by the foot of my bed at 12AM sharp. At 12:15 the filly pulled her last foot from her mama. The look in Bambi's eye carried the same feeling as I had in my core - Pride, plain and simple. Bambi's sire was Majestic Sabre, and appendix QH, and so she was - Majestic Midnight Pride. She was foal-napped when she was 4 days old by the lead mare (Yenta) right after being turned out in the pasture for the first time after doing some bonding for the first few days. The mare who took her was dry that year, and not too happy about it. Yenta knew she was in the wrong, and put the baby on the run when we went to get her. She ran a full section of pasture for well over an hour before we got her in, and at some point during it all, Pride got run into the fence and ripped her chest open. How babies heal! in 2 weeks, it was gone without a trace, and never caused her a problem. Pride was sold as a 2 year old to a fellow who wanted her for his grandkids. He had her for 2 years, had a month of training put on her (elsewhere), but the grandkids were not interested. I bought her back as a 4 year old, wintered her, then rode her the following spring and sold her to a young girl who wanted a barrel horse. Pride is nothing if not athletic. She was sired by an Egyptian Arabian stallion, Shabreeze.

Soufian Lorenzo was born in 1999 by Shabreeze, who was very dear to my heart and produced many good foals. Soufian was the last foal by Shabreeze, who was then castrated and sold as a kids horse, which duty he performed faithfully. Soufian was sold as a started 3 year old and remains at that home today.

Django was born in 2002. His sire was a grade QH stud. Django came late in the season, mid August, and spent his last few nursing months on another mare (a Shabreeze daughter), as Bambi was not in good enough condition to winter with a colt. He is chock-full of personality, and is very athletic and an excellent learner. Django is going very well under saddle and beginning his new career as a school horse, while preparing himself and new riders for a wagon trek next summer. He competed in his first gymkhana this summer and made me very proud with flying lead changes through the poles and the correct lead on each and every barrel! He is very sensitive and responsive much like his sister, though he looks for the stop cues, while her tendency is to look for the GO cues!